Online Edition 07.2007
POETRY & PROSE
Board Games | Andrea Avery
The Jacket | Ari Holtz
The Turkish Poetry Spitball | Chris King
Goal Line Stand | Jim Klenn
Runners are Weird | Tom Weber
Print Edition
PRINTED BY
Firecracker Press
ART DIRECTION BY
Caroline Huth
CONTRIBUTORS
Jessica Baran, Aaron Belz, Thomas Crone, Andrea Day,
Caroline Huth, Nick Findley, Emily Shea Fisher, Thom Fletcher,
Dave Gray, Franklin Jennings, Chris King, K.E. Luther, K. Curtis Lyle, Richard
Newman, Greg Ott, Stefene Russell, Dana Smith, Brett Lars Underwood
Board Games |
by Andrea Avery
Playing board games is about as sporty as I get. I was always
kind of an “inside” kid. While my brother Jeff was outside
practicing baseball with my mom, and my brother Tony was practicing
his NASCAR skills by motoring across the pasture in our go-cart, I
was inside reading. I got my competitive fix by playing board games
with anyone willing. Here were some of my favorite board games from
my youth.
- Old Maid
My brother Tony has never been good at Old Maid. He can’t hold
back uncomfortable giggles when he has the Old Maid. It is
ridiculously easy to tell when he’s trying to pass off the card
because he sticks it up so much higher than the others fanned in
his hand. And always, without fail, he picks the far right card in
my hand, so I can easily pass off the Old Maid to him. Anyone can.
For some reason, he still enjoys the game. We play it with my
nephews whenever we are all at my parents—with the same tired deck
of cards we had when we were kids.
- Pictionary
My brother Jeff gets sore easily playing games. He is serious and
competitive. He doesn’t tolerate cheaters. Once I was on a
Pictionary team with our cousin Laurie and we were playing my
brother and our cousin Brian. The girls were kicking ass. Laurie
and I were in what I guess would be called “the zone”. We barely
had to put pencil to paper and were getting the answers right. The
guys insisted that we were cheating. I don’t know if it was that
we were winning so easily or our obnoxious gloating that was
turning their cheeks red as pincushions. They never played us
again. Too bad. I love this game.
- Monopoly
I used to cheat like a little freak at this game. I would make my
brother Jeff play with me and then turn into a total punk if he
tried to buy any of the properties I wanted. I crumbled the
Boardwalk card in his face once. I hated losing and I would steal
from the bank. Jeff likes to remind me how awful I was about this
game. This is one of the most embarrassing remembrances from my
childhood.
- Happy Days
For about six months or more, maybe when I was in second grade,
The Fonz was the coolest thing ever. I remember my mom getting us
these 3” buttons with Fonzie’s picture on them and the word
“Heyyyyy” written across them. We thought we were hot shit. For
Christmas we got the Happy Days game, which had no point to it,
other than moving your board piece around the neighborhood block
trying to get back to your house and picking cards that said
things like, “Your socks fell down at the hop, lose a turn.” The
graphics on the box were cool. I wish I still had this game.
- Miss America Pageant Game
This game was so lame and so girlie and I was so in love with it. I had no
sisters and usually could only get my brother Jeff to play after
about the third snow day in a row. It addition to the game board,
it had a plastic base with revolving TV camera spinner, contestant
cards illustrated with alluring beauties representing all 50
states, and competition cards in personality, swimsuit, evening
gown and talent categories. Each player got to pick 7 contestants
and there was always a battle over who got to be Miss South
Dakota. She had blond ponytails and was from a boring state—I
could relate. Plus, the lapels on her shirt were by far the
longest and pointiest of any of the other contestants. This meant
a lot in 1977. I don’t remember much about the questions. The
point was to just get as many of your contestants up to the
coveted 5 spots on the camera spinner for the finals. For the life
of me, I can’t remember how the winner was chosen. Mostly I think
I just liked picking my seven contestants and sashaying them
around the stage.
After honing my chops on these board games, in junior high and
high school I became slightly obsessed with cards, especially rummy.
This led to a keen interest in Tripoloy, a game my parents would
play with friends. It combined Michigan Rummy, Poker and Hearts—and
you got to bet real money! Oh, the power surge of winning the pot of
pennies. I’ve loved card games ever since, but I play so
infrequently that I forget the rules. Now the games I usually play
involve dice and luck: Triple Yatzee or 10,000. Both allow for
friendly banter, conversation, and sashaying to the kitchen for
wine. Maybe I learned something from that Miss America game after
all.
BIO
When she's not fulfilling her editorial duties for 52nd City,
Andrea Avery can be found playing Apples to Apples with her
nephew. His obsession with the game is karmic payback from her
brother for cheating at Monopoly all those years ago.